I had something to post that I thought of yesterday, but now I've had a glass and a half of wine and I can't remember anything, except that I had an idea once. Oh! I remembered. I went to the mall yesterday, which has a new Orange Julius/Dairy Queen (excuse me - DQ) combo. I used to love Orange Juliuses when I was a teen, though I was too poor to enjoy them more than a handful of times. I didn't have one yesterday either, but that's not the point here. On the Orange Julius smoothie-making counter is a bin of white powder with a label saying "Flavor Enhancer." Now, if the place served savory food, I'd assume it was MSG (and it was 1965 or something). But it's for sweets, and it's today.
So I went to their corporate website and found this:
Julius Flavor Enhancer, Orange Julius® Compound: A dairy-based flavor enhancer blended for taste and texture.
Ingredients include dairy and egg products, specifically whole milk powder and egg white solids.
...which sounds kind of gross. And sounds like it's more of a texture enhancer than anything. Either way, they clearly need a more appetizing name for it. Judging by the ingredients, they could call it "protein powder" and get away with it. Or how about "Texturator"? "Improviepowder"? "AWESOM-O"? Wait, I know: "Angel Dust"! Perfect.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
On my way to work this morning, I walked past what I believe was a genuine, in-the-flesh hobo. Not just a homeless person, but a hobo! He was sitting under the railroad overpass, dressed in bulky camouflage, had a knapsack and a beard, and was playing the same short and fast melody on a harmonica over and over again. I was especially excited to spot a hobo in the flesh since I had just read the 700 Hobo Names in John Hodgman's book a couple of weeks ago. I was too shy to ask him if his presence meant the hoboes were indeed going to overthrow the government.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
I'll post something about the big Toy Fest (name changed to avoid google matches) soon. But I had to mention that this Jennifer M post reminded me that I have recently seen creepy nude-photo personals guy in town (unfortunately for me, he lives and works here). And the horrible part is that I think he recognizes me, because there have been smirky looks thrown in my direction. If anything, I should be smirking, since I'm not the one who posted a photo of myself lying face-down on the floor with my ass in the air, or a photo of my chest/abdomen with my pants half-undone. But instead I am embarrassed for him, even though he's clearly too cocky to see that.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
Note to people who regularly enter mail-in sweepstakes: It really doesn't matter how many stickers you put on your envelope, or how much glitter-glue, or how big the crayon rainbows are — we're just ripping them open and throwing them away. We just keep the index cards you've enclosed — that's why we asked for them. Just FYI.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
It's been a week, yes, but I've been away. I went to New York City, and because it's New York City, even the simplest trips are filled with excitement! Well, it's exciting for someone living in a small New England town, at least. Here are some highlights.
First, I visited my sister and brother-in-law for my niece's 2nd birthday party. (btw: Tallulah's blog has finally been updated, see link at right.) My niece was a very cute and charming guest of honor. She knows the whole presents (pezzints!) and singing/candles/cake (cake tyme!) routine and was very excited by the whole thing. Even though she just learned how to distainfully say, "Mommy, stop it" when my sister is singing or doing something she deems silly and unwarranted, she is still at the cutest age ever.
Me and the fella spent the night in a B (a B&B without the Breakfast) within walking distance of their (very nice, but crowded and early-rising) apartment. The room was very comfortable and homey, like staying in a thoughtful friend's guest room, except that a thoughtful friend probably wouldn't charge $140 a night. But I glady paid it.
Sunday was brunch with the family at Moutarde, a frenchy place that has awesome eggs benedict and french toast, and that inspires lots of "don't be so moutarded" jokes. Then the fella left for home and I stayed in Brooklyn. After a short lie-down, me and the sis and the bro-in-law did some errands. People in NY have awesome trash; there are so many pedestrians that you can put anything half-way useable on your stoop railing and know that it will be gone in an hour or two. On my sister's block I found a white Gap skirt that I recognized as part of their summer 05 collection (back when I lived in Manhattan, I often shopped after work to escape the heat), and a halter top by Odille, a brand Anthropologie carries (see previous parenthetical). We were on our way down to Fifth anyway, so I grabbed them and brought them to sell to Beacon's Closet, who gave me $7.50 in credit for the shirt. Score! I also got a nice on-sale shirt for $16 at Brooklyn Industries and they gave me the special free-with-$50-purchase fabric shopping bag. The ringer-upper was a lady so I don't even think she was flirting, unless she was gay, in which case I am extra flattered, but I am guessing she just wasn't paying attention. The point is: I felt lucky.
Later, I got to watch my niece take a crap! (Those with a low tolerance for scat talk might want to skip this paragraph.) Her parents have started introducing the Potty Idea, which involves having her sit on the kiddy potty for a few minutes before her bath. She's pretty into it, and so when she said she wanted to go hang out on the potty, I went with her (she was already nude, since it was pre-bath naked time). She sat for about 20 seconds and then got distracted and walked into the living room, where a turd suddenly began emerging from her butt. My sister grabbed her and rushed her back onto the potty, and my niece seemed a little freaked out at the urgency, but we were all very encouraging and she relaxed. Bro-in-law ran to get the "potty book" to read to her as she sat, and then she requested "nose book, mommy read it?" so he went out again to find the nose book while my sister kept her seated, and he came back with the nose book, saying "you really don't want to go out there and come back in," because, well, there's a reason toilets have water in them, and it has to do with odor control. Anyway, she did poop and pee in the potty, which is a big first, though not knowing when to physically get to the potty is still an issue. She is very young for potty-training, anyway.
Sunday night I stayed at the Soho Grand, the place where my sister rode an elevator with Bjork back when I spent the night there several years ago. The rooms have been redesigned and are more classic/normal now. The heater in my room made a loud, annoying drone, so I turned it off, which unfortunately allowed me to hear the barking of a small dog (the hotel allows pets). At least, I thought it was a dog, until I realized that it was a human, a human lady having loud sex next door. Great. Luckily it didn't last long.
Monday was a training workshop at my old office. The trainer reminded me so much of Cheri Oteri's hyper middle-aged-lady characters that there were times she'd make a joke and I would laugh for all the wrong reasons. On the way home I rode in the back seat of my boss's Honda Element (weird, noisy, not very comfortable, but spacious) and discovered that she will sing along to the radio if she knows the words. And, The end.
First, I visited my sister and brother-in-law for my niece's 2nd birthday party. (btw: Tallulah's blog has finally been updated, see link at right.) My niece was a very cute and charming guest of honor. She knows the whole presents (pezzints!) and singing/candles/cake (cake tyme!) routine and was very excited by the whole thing. Even though she just learned how to distainfully say, "Mommy, stop it" when my sister is singing or doing something she deems silly and unwarranted, she is still at the cutest age ever.
Me and the fella spent the night in a B (a B&B without the Breakfast) within walking distance of their (very nice, but crowded and early-rising) apartment. The room was very comfortable and homey, like staying in a thoughtful friend's guest room, except that a thoughtful friend probably wouldn't charge $140 a night. But I glady paid it.
Sunday was brunch with the family at Moutarde, a frenchy place that has awesome eggs benedict and french toast, and that inspires lots of "don't be so moutarded" jokes. Then the fella left for home and I stayed in Brooklyn. After a short lie-down, me and the sis and the bro-in-law did some errands. People in NY have awesome trash; there are so many pedestrians that you can put anything half-way useable on your stoop railing and know that it will be gone in an hour or two. On my sister's block I found a white Gap skirt that I recognized as part of their summer 05 collection (back when I lived in Manhattan, I often shopped after work to escape the heat), and a halter top by Odille, a brand Anthropologie carries (see previous parenthetical). We were on our way down to Fifth anyway, so I grabbed them and brought them to sell to Beacon's Closet, who gave me $7.50 in credit for the shirt. Score! I also got a nice on-sale shirt for $16 at Brooklyn Industries and they gave me the special free-with-$50-purchase fabric shopping bag. The ringer-upper was a lady so I don't even think she was flirting, unless she was gay, in which case I am extra flattered, but I am guessing she just wasn't paying attention. The point is: I felt lucky.
Later, I got to watch my niece take a crap! (Those with a low tolerance for scat talk might want to skip this paragraph.) Her parents have started introducing the Potty Idea, which involves having her sit on the kiddy potty for a few minutes before her bath. She's pretty into it, and so when she said she wanted to go hang out on the potty, I went with her (she was already nude, since it was pre-bath naked time). She sat for about 20 seconds and then got distracted and walked into the living room, where a turd suddenly began emerging from her butt. My sister grabbed her and rushed her back onto the potty, and my niece seemed a little freaked out at the urgency, but we were all very encouraging and she relaxed. Bro-in-law ran to get the "potty book" to read to her as she sat, and then she requested "nose book, mommy read it?" so he went out again to find the nose book while my sister kept her seated, and he came back with the nose book, saying "you really don't want to go out there and come back in," because, well, there's a reason toilets have water in them, and it has to do with odor control. Anyway, she did poop and pee in the potty, which is a big first, though not knowing when to physically get to the potty is still an issue. She is very young for potty-training, anyway.
Sunday night I stayed at the Soho Grand, the place where my sister rode an elevator with Bjork back when I spent the night there several years ago. The rooms have been redesigned and are more classic/normal now. The heater in my room made a loud, annoying drone, so I turned it off, which unfortunately allowed me to hear the barking of a small dog (the hotel allows pets). At least, I thought it was a dog, until I realized that it was a human, a human lady having loud sex next door. Great. Luckily it didn't last long.
Monday was a training workshop at my old office. The trainer reminded me so much of Cheri Oteri's hyper middle-aged-lady characters that there were times she'd make a joke and I would laugh for all the wrong reasons. On the way home I rode in the back seat of my boss's Honda Element (weird, noisy, not very comfortable, but spacious) and discovered that she will sing along to the radio if she knows the words. And, The end.
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