Thursday, June 30, 2005

I am coming to Northampton for a visit this weekend, and I might buy an air conditioner just for the occasion. I feel justified in doing so because I have a $100 gift card for Home Depot that I keep forgetting about. And the last two times I was up there, my apartment was so unbearable that I left town earlier than I would have otherwise. Why is it that the heat in the Valley seems so much more unbearable than that in NYC? Is it just breezier in the city, since we're near the coast?

Two days ago on 14th street I passed a boy making time (just chatting) with a girl in a doorway. The boy's pants were pulled down so low that his entire ass (clad in red boxers) was sticking out. Seriously, I have no idea how he walks around without his pants falling completely to the ground. He looked ridiculous.

The only other news I got is: Rain + slate sidewalks + flip-flops = hydroplaning. I almost didn't make it home yesterday.

Monday, June 27, 2005

More posting soon. I have been a busy bee. I'm not sure what people want to read, anymore! Or how much I should post, and how personal I should get (that's been a problem for a long time, of course), because as some of you know, I can get very confessional when I feel like it. Knowing my mom is reading this puts a nice damper on that.

I am working hard at my job, and am learning things. It's nice to feel like I'm moving forward at work, you know? Instead of feeling like I know how to do everything and just keep repeating myself. I interviewed a funny and charming TV host this morning. What a sweetie he is. I like it when I talk to a famous person and instead of being kind of stupid or aloof, they're charming and gregarious and effortlessly funny, and clearly are perfectly suited for their job.

I could talk about a funny playtime I had with finslippy and her son on Friday. Or about the amazing fireworks I saw in Easthampton. I don't really have anything to tell about the city, though I did discover last week that the city parks have a well-enforced 1:00 a.m. curfew. In other news, my niece is adorable, and saying new words every day.

See? Not really much to tell, especially when compared with an enormous flood of half-melted giant popsicle. I will try to do better.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Re: yesterday's post about the giant Snapple pop, this site has a great rundown on what actually happened - and it's far better than what I imagined.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

[Note: See update below!]
Today from 11 to 1 p.m. in Union Square Park - a mere block away from my office, and I can feel the excitement from here - Snapple will be attempting to break the world record for Largest Ice Pop. I walked by there at 10 (late for work) and there was a big crane and many Snapple trucks standing around.

The official blurb:
Snapple is attempting to break the existing Guinness World Record for the "World's Largest Ice Pop" on June 21 by erecting a two and a half story, 20-ton kiwi strawberry-flavored, edible Snapple on Ice pop in New York City's Union Square. New Yorkers and tourists alike will be overwhelmed by the immense "ice scraper" which will stand 24-feet tall, 5-feet wide and 5-feet thick. There will be free samples for all who attend.

Damn right I'm attending. I only wish I'd brought my camera.

Update: So I walk over to the big staging area at around 12:30, and there's no ice pop - there's just a guy continually talking, like a sideshow barker, over some dance-y pop music. He says that the pop will rise soon, because it's melting. I wander around and get a free strawberry-kiwi ice pop - Snapple's selling popsicles now, check your grocer's freezer! - and notice that the Snapple Lady, I guess her name's Wendy (I've never seen the Snapple ads with her in them), is installed in a tent, signing photos for free. There's a line, but it's short, and it's in a good spot for viewing the ascension of the popsicle. So I get on line (to get an autographed photo for my niece, for the sake of hilarity) and wait, and wait. The woman behind me starts chatting with me, and says that to get here she had had to walk around what smelled and looked like a huge puddle of Snapple. Hmm... Behind various crates and trucks I can see just the smallest piece of the side of the huge popsicle, shining wetly in the hot sun. One o'clock comes and goes, and here's Wendy leaving the tent to go announce the raising of the giant pink phallus. And because I want to see that, and because I still want my free autographed photo, I wait some more. But eventually it's 1:10 and I have to go eat before my meeting, so I leave my spot on line and try to walk to the sandwich store. And then I see the hold-up; the fire department is hosing down Park Avenue, for which traffic has been entirely halted, because (as a passer-by told me) "the popsicle melted all over the road."

So that is the story of how I missed seeing the World's Largest Popsicle, AND how I missed my opportunity to meet The Snapple Lady.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

On my way to buy a $10 sandwich (comes with nothing extra; worth every penny) at 'wichcraft this afternoon, I passed a couple of twenty-something Brooks Brothers white guys on Fifth Ave. (Already sent it in to overheard .)

yuppie #1, referencing a woman who just passed him: She had a great rack.
yuppie #2: Couldn't have been real.
y1: Yeah, no way.
y2: So you're a rack guy, huh?
y1: Nah, I'm an ass.

Yes. Yes you are.
Huzzah! There is now a craigslist for Western Mass! Go and use it, tell your friends - let it spread like wildfire. Hooray.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Today after work I decided to finally check out Madison Square Park, not to be confused with Madison Square Garden (the place where the knicks play and where I saw Sting once when I was a teen). MSP is small and pleasant and also home of the Shake Shack, which I will have to go to when I am hankering for a bird dog and fries and frozen custard. The Shake Shack has only outdoor seating, which is famously busy all day long, and the pigeons and squirrels know it. I walked around on the pathways of the park, and I passed a generously-filled trash can with a squirrel foraging inside of it. I could see its tail twitching but it couldn't see me, so I came right up on it and surprised it a little, making it jump out to the rim of the can. I walked away all smugly. Ten seconds later an acorn fell hard on my shoulder, like it had been whipped at me, or perhaps just fallen from a great height. I swear this is true.

P.S. It looks like I'm not the only one who's gotten attacked by a Shake Shack squirrel.
Why yes, it HAS been nearly a week. I was in Northampton for a few days (and computer-free) so that's my excuse. Luckily, my wifi neighbor seems to have returned from the Hamptons and internet access has returned to my apartment.

With the heat and humidity of the past 7 days or so, it's been a toss-up as to where I'd rather be: in western MA, staying in an attic apartment with no A/C, but with places to sit in the shade, as well as easy-to-get-to swimming holes; or in NYC, staying in my well-A/C'd apartment, with other air-conditioned buildings to hop into, but where the city itself, on the whole, smells (and feels) like the well-trafficked floor of a Port-O-John. Either way I have to sweat in order to get someplace besides my lonely abode. This is a nutshell version of my 2005 Summer Problem of figuring out where I want to live. Sweating is involved. My problems will move with me. Those fuckers.

I have nothing to complain about, really. Just moaning softly over here, pay me no mind.

More later when I'm not at work contemplating that I might not be cut out for a job that requires creativity involving subjects of which I have no interest.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

On my walk to work this morning, I passed by a long line of people waiting outside of the W Hotel. It only took a moment to notice they were all women who were young, black, and curvy or fat. A few of them were signing forms of some kind. Intrigued, once at work I did a Google search for Union Square W casting call, and found this with ease: Monique's new reality show, Fat Chance. I love the internet.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

I am writing this at the computer Where The Magic Happens at chez finslippy. Yes, foolishly, she and her husband have entrusted me with their first-born male child for the evening, while they make like grownups and eat at a fancy dinner place (and they wore big-girl and big-boy clothes, yes they did!). I just put the sweetie-pie to bed, and though I had been warned that there is sometimes a post-dinner, pre-sleeping poop, there was instead just some stinky farting. What a relief! He is adorable, though. We read some books. Like some toddlers know all of the dinosaurs, this one knows all of the vehicles and characters of Star Wars (original trilogy only, of course). He is very easy to put to bed too. Recommended!
I feel strangely nauseous, perhaps from the heat, or perhaps the chicken salad at the gourmet Union Market has poisoned me. I also saw a dead pigeon on the way over here, and if I could see it, then that means the West Nile Virus could have reached me. At least I think that's how it works. I hope I do not have to vomit in the finslippy bathroom.
Yesterday in the Spring Street subway station a Chinese guy was playing an erhu (I had to look that up - it's a stringed instrument played with a bow), accompanyed by a backing tape of what seemed to be "Songs for Playing Erhu By". While I was waiting there he played "My Way." It was such a classic NY moment that it felt manufactured. I had to look around to see if Nora Ephron was in the crowd with a movie camera.
Last night I went to a bar in the East Village. Around 1:20 I decided to walk home (I hadn't gotten to take a disco nap, so I had to end it early) and the further I walked north, the more and more frat-boy types I encountered. Actually, it was sort of a strata of, first, young alternative kids (passing through the St. Marks Place area), then Guido-types (like frat-boys, but with gelled hair and better shirts), then finally to ex-frat-boy yuppies. All with their matching girls, of course. In the guido strata I passed a guy peeing on the side of the building. I almost yelled at him, and should have. People live right there, you know? It's not like peeing behind the dumpster on Pearl Street; it's more like peeing on the side of someone's house, a couple of feet from the front door. Jerk.
Also, as I walked up, a black guy around my age stopped me. "Excuse me, can you do me a quick favor? Can you call me a cab? They aren't stopping for me." Aw SHIT, that is fucked up. I said "That's horrible. Hold on." I stuck out my arm, and 10 seconds later, a cab pulled over, with someone in it already - not sure why, did he think I needed help because there was a black man standing next to me? As the guy leaned in to ask the cabbie to send a car for him, another cab - an empty one - pulled up to my wave, and I yelled "Dude!" and pointed the guy to it, and I walked away. I can't imagine this was some sort of scam (I can't figure out how that would work) so I'm going to take it all at face value. I guess cabbies pick and choose who to pick up when there are multiple fares hailing them. That is fucked.
I am coming back up to town on Thursday to attend my ex-step-child's graduation. She ain't a child nomores. It is very exciting. She decided to go to one of the colleges I toured with her. And she's going to live and work in Cape Cod for the summer. I am proud to know her.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Okay, there were some movie problems yesterday, but now they're fixed. Go on and dance with Lula!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I continue to have brand-new experiences over here in the big city. This morning I tipped my super for feeding my cat. And a couple of days ago I called a place and had dinner (Vietnamese deliciousness) delivered, all by myself. I'm a big girl now.

I like that when you go into a bodega on your way to work here, and you buy a yogurt, they automatically put a plastic spoon and some napkins in your bag. That, my friends, is service.

I almost forgot! Go to Tallulah's blog and click on the movie link in the current post. It will make you happy, trust me. My niece is one adorable little cub. I make a cameo appearance as Girl Sitting on the Floor Pressing the Button of the Sesame Street Toy to Keep the Music Going, with Occasional Clapping.

I spent the long weekend in Northampton, my first trip home since I moved here temporarily. I loved seeing my friends again, and I greatly enjoyed being able to hear the wind rustling the leaves in the trees. I kind of missed not having an endless list of potential things to do and see, though.

My secret neighborhood wifi provider seems to have wised up, or gone on vacation, or something, because I have no internet service at home. I feel quite crippled, information-wise. I am looking into alternative ways to get access ...