I just called my grandmother. She says my grandfather is not doing well - he's in bed, has refused all food and drink, and tried to speak to her but couldn't be understood. She says that our visit made a big difference in him; he was alert and animated (and he smiled a bunch of times) on Sunday. So maybe now that we've gone, he's going to let go. I think we're all ready for it, though I get a lump in my throat whenever I think about it. Of course.

I've been relatively lucky in the ancestor roulette - this is my first grandparent to die. Before this the only relatives I ever met that died were two great-grandmothers (one on each side of my family) who died when they were 99 years old. I barely knew either of them. I'm essentially estranged from my other set of grandparents (long story, too personal to blog), so losing this grandfather is very sad.

Though it's really the Alzheimer's that's doing him in, the actual cause of death will probably be dysphagia (dehydration). He has a living will that specifies no hospitals, which means not getting even an IV drip to give him fluids. So since I feel totally helpless while waiting, I did a google on what kind of death this might be like. Here are some links, if you're curious:

This is really about assisted vs. unassisted suicide;

as is this one from the Hemlock Society;

and here's a reassuring Reuter's article about the subject.

My grandfather's on morphine, and has people around constantly to moisten his mouth, see that he's comfortable, etc., so I think it should be relatively okay.