I'm kind of freaking out right now. There's a vein or something that keeps pulsing and fluttering in my neck, which feels constricted. Meanwhile my ear feels kind of tight and tense, as does the shoulder below the weird vein area. (Don't worry, I'm not going rushing off to the doctor because my ear "feels funny" - tm, Roz Chast.) This doesn't mean anything, right? Or do I have terminal cancer? P had a landlord who died of too many tumors, some of which restricted the blood flow to his head, making it look like he was constantly tensing his neck muscles, making the tendons stand out. This was right before he died. If I die from this, say it's a stroke or something, everyone will read this and be wowed at the power of the immediacy of the internet or something. Maybe I'll even get a mention in the next Times article about blogging.

The very bad part about living alone is that if I collapse or something, and I can't get to my phone, yet I need emergency medical treatment, it's all over. I'm dead and gone, baby. I think I need one of those old lady alarm things that automatically call 911 for you.