Our huge multinational media behemoth is in the final stages of switching over to a massive new, online, "self service" system. All employees are required to take tutorials to use the new system. Unfortunately the tutorials - and the system itself - seems to have been written by a bunch of hermetical uber-geeks who are incapable of speaking like normal human beings or writing without numerous grammatical and spelling errors. The tutorial seamlessly combines intelligence-insulting, time-wasting exercises ("You started your business trip in Cleveland. Write "Cleveland" in the "destination" space, then press the Tab key to continue.") with incomprehensible corporate gobbledegook, often in the same paragraph. The graphics and fonts would look innovative ? if it was 1989. They make it impossible to actually select and save any of the tutorial text, but I just had to copy this one thing down longhand:

Cost center: Code (cost object) representing a department within the company in which to enter an expense against.

And don't get me started with the other undefined acronyms and jargon they lazily toss in there, like we give a crap enough to learn their preferred terminology. Instead of simply saying "you" or "the employee" they say "the CM/EE", because that's much clearer!

I need a drink.