Friday, November 14, 2008

I had my lady business looked at ultra-sonically this morning, and guess what! I have a cyst of the same size and on the same side as I had before my surgery. (You know, the cyst that made me opt to get surgery in the first place.) The gyno kind of semi-apologetically explained that because of all of the scar tissue it was hard to get in there and get all of the endo out, or to cut off the blood supply completely, or something -- whatever it was, it was too hard for her to do, and she didn't want to just take the whole ovary out. This time I'm going to try to tough it out as much as possible because that surgery sucked HARD.

I also got some birth control pills called "Loestrin" which is supposedly the lowest hormonal dose you can get. My gyno said that it's the kind her daughter uses. We'll see how it goes (in a few weeks).

Can I just say that when you're infertile, the gynocologist's office is the last place you want to be. I can't imagine how I'd hold it together if I were actually trying to conceive, or god forbid, miscarried. There's photos of babies and happy mothers everywhere, posters for breastfeeding classes and new mother workshops, etc. I'm not even sure I want to carry a baby and I was feeling bitter and resentful.

Thank god I'm an identical twin who already made a couple of kids who are carrying my genetic material. Sure, it's all mixed up with that of my swarthy, asthmatic brother-in-law (I kid because I love) but it's obviously in there somewhere. Now I can feel less weird about buying a baby from some other country or whatnot. And if I do, you'd better believe I'd be all, "Hey look at this baby! I bought him in Ecuador," or, "This little cutie only cost us $15k! Good deal, right?" Because cynicism's the only way I can deal with the unfairness of getting pregnant easily = free, and being infertile but wanting kids = many, many thousands of dollars.

1 comment:

No Stand In Will Do said...

KICK IN with the whole *&#king tragedy of stupid f@*&s having lovely children as often as they have a sperm visiting inside who they kick around and/or worse and it's enough to make you hope for a sure end to all humankind. ok, the cynical side is being abated by the blessing of sarcasm now, here it comes...wait for it..hey, I'll chip in on that baby and we can time about that? I think you would be a super great co-mommy!