Monday, July 17, 2006

I'm probably going to have my cat Wedge killed today. Though she started eating on her own while boarding at the vet's this weekend, she also started having seizures and acting weird and altered. We got the seizures to get milder by giving her some meds, and they let me take her home yesterday afternoon to observe her. She stumbles around and wants to go into weird places like inside the plant stand and in between the bookcase and the closet. She can see me, and still eats, and once while I was cuddling with her she was actually purring, but later on she peed on me when I put her on my lap (which means she had a small seizure) and she had some other minor seizure-like activities, like chomping on the side of her bed, and shaking her head while drooling. The prognosis is either brain infection or a tumor, which are usually treatable, but only after an MRI and a spinal tap, which are expensive ($1,100 plus) and invasive and can only be done at Tufts, and people, my cat is 16 years old. I know, some cats live to be 20, or 24. That's what is making this decision so agonizing. I had always hoped Wedge would just die suddenly, so I wouldn't have to be the one going thumbs up or down. Am I doing the wrong thing? If I don't do anything but keep her on anti-seizure meds, her quality of life, as it is now, is extremely shitty. Wedge has always been a fighter, very healthy and tough. Should I spend the dough and keep her alive longer? Would you?

2 comments:

Dianne said...

It's never an easy call but you have to go with your gut. You are not doing the wrong thing either way. You just need to make the right choice for you. Your cat is not mine but I would probably make the same decision that it sounds like you're leaning toward. And I did make a similar decision a few years ago and it was tough but it was the right thing for me (and the cat, I believe.) Once I made the decision, I gave my cat everything she wanted - cheese, milk, tuna... it was fun to pamper her and it made me feel a little better :-)

dangermouth@gmail.com said...

I had to make that decision last May, for a cat who was less than half of Wedge's age. It feels horrible, it never gets easier to make that decision, but it's the ultimate kindness once they lose the ability to live comfortably.
I had to weigh the options - either he could have painful procedures with a very limited chance of success, or I could let him go.
I miss him every day, but I'm glad his last days were with me, not at the vet's office having surgery.