Hey, I'm back! Hello. No more trips scheduled, and my travel urge has been satisfied for the time being. The cruise was weird. Yes, there was a lot of food available all the time, and lots of activities at any given time, but everything is geared towards pleasing the widest audience possible. So the food was kind of uninspired, and there were dance clubs, but they played very mainstream music, and there were "funny" shows and games, but they were never really that funny or surprising. I think for me to enjoy a cruise, it would have to have different activities. If I was Julie the Activities Director, here's what I'd offer:

Ska party - black and white attire requested
the exquisite corpse poetry game
knitting class
Mr. Show - live on stage!
80s-television-shows trivia contest
Scavenger hunt
Dance Party with music by Beck, the White Stripes, Pixies, The Jam, etc.
Video-Store Dana doing his Bar 19 multimedia thing

And so on. I also did not like the motion of the ocean. And it's really not the size of the wave, because the sea was pretty calm and I still felt all woozy and unpleasant. My room was the most-forward room on the ship, and it was low, on the second level (out of 10). I could feel vibrations from the engine, and there was a constant, unexpected back-and-forth motion. So I spent some nice evenings dozing on the upholstered lounge chairs on the promenade deck, with the breeze blowing and the sound of the water being sliced by the ship.

The ship stopped for a day at Nassau, which is a fairly depressing place. I didn't take an "excursion," opting instead to save my money and wander around, and take a cab to the public beach and the Atlantis resort and casino. Lots of grim-looking women asked if I'd like my hair braided (in corn rows; most of the little girls on the ship had them by the end of the cruise). If I didn't respond they'd say "hellloo!?" in this pissed off way. I was looking to buy some Bonine after a very bad night on Dramamine. That stuff sucks so much that I can't believe it's so popular. It just acts like a downer, which my body fights, so I'd get very close to falling asleep and then I'd jolt awake, swallowing hard. Ugh. A tourist map pointed out a pharmacy so I used it to guide me into the non-tourist area but the pharmacy must have shut down. It was extremely hot out. On the way back a "bus" driver offered me a lift back to downtown - one dollar. I took it. It was kind of a grimy open-air mini-van with bench seats and it worked for me. Once I was closer to the tourist area I miraculously found a local supermarket which had a slightly crumpled box of Bonine for sale behind the counter. I also bought a couple of stencilled tin plates, $1.50 each, and I saw but did not buy a can of "Jamaican-style Irish Moss Drink." It was my favorite store on the island, way more interesting and exotic than the jewelry stores and t-shirt crap shacks I also wandered into.

I took a taxi van to Atlantis and bet with $6 on video poker and nickel slots. I was never ahead so I quit while I was only down a little (to $5). I walked to the public beach which had a bunch of locals under the scrbby trees, most just hanging out but one selling and smoking weed. The white tourists were all out in the sunny sand. I had been warned to not leave valuables on the beach unattended and I had my camera with me, so I asked some sunbathing lady if she'd keep an eye on my stuff and I went to the water before she had time to answer. The water was gorgeous, bright turquoise, totally clear and cool. I got out pretty quickly and went back to the ship.

The next day at the next island stop I ended up snorkelling for the first time. It was wonderful. You get to be a fish! I couldn't wear my glasses so everything was blurry but I did see a bunch of tropical fish. I swam right over them! The rest of the day was not nearly as exciting; lots of looking for a shady place to lie down and walking around in the sun. I also passed up a chance to try out a Segway, $15 for 10 minutes.

I am happy to be back in my New England home. More travelogue possibly later tomorrow!