Wednesday, January 12, 2005

I was at Spoleto Monday evening for a baby-shower planning meeting, and during our wine-drinking and discussion session I had to use the bathroom. So I go in, and of course I just sit right down on the seat, because why wouldn't I, seeing as their toilets are like the toilets one would have in ones' house. Imagine my horror when I stand up and discover the bottom of my thigh wet with someone else's pee.

Who does the toilet hover maneuver IN A RESTAURANT? And a semi-fancy restaurant, no less? It's not like I was in a gas station restroom where one must always check for pee before taking one's seat. Never mind the fact that the pee-hover is almost entirely idiotic and unneccessary unless you're worried that the person using the stall before you has, I dunno, open, weeping sores on their thighs. Because you are not going to catch any venereal or genital nastiness from a toilet seat that DOES NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH ANY GENITALS EVER. So all you girls who hover over the toilet seat, selfishly spraying the seat with your own urine for the next unlucky fool? You are causing a problem that didn't exist before. CUT IT OUT.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Here, here!" says Jennifer Myszkowski.

Ellen DeGeneres has a hilarious bit about this from an early HBO special. I dont' remember the name of the tour, but it's the one with the background of the fish bowl. Whatever.

I think the people who are going to piss on the seats should at least clean up their piss when they're done.

There is nothing grosser than standing up and discovering someone else's piss on your thigh. Well, almost nothing.

Bravo!

av said...

Maybe people just go in hover mode. Maybe all the pee-ers that came before you and sat in someone else's pee said I've had it. If I ever hover, I always wipe off the seat for the next person. There was a guy on my hall at Hampshire who used to pee all over the seat with the seat down. Finally I left a note that said, "Please lift the seat before you pee, some people have to sit here." and it stopped. I never knew which creep it was. That was a weird hall, I made the mistake of kissing someone on my hall in the first week, then he started dating a girl on the hall the week after and they were together for the rest of the year. That's when I learned: Always kiss people on other halls.

debl said...

av, was that in Dakin or Merrill? Dakin was always a little grosser than Merrill, probably because almost all of the first years were put there (I was always in Merrill).