Thursday, February 13, 2003

I was a bitch to my 16-year-old quasi-step-daughter last night. As usual, she was yelling down from her bedroom for us to be quiet, in that extremely annoying tone of voice that teenagers perfect. I was actually watching Celebrity Mole with T, and we both haad headphones on; it was my laughter that was too loud for her. Anyway, whatever response I gave to her yelling wasn't good enough, so she continued to tell me exactly how I was keeping her awake. I yelled "I get it!! And the only person being loud right now is you!" She yelled something else, angrily, and I yelled over her, "I GET IT! NOW SHUT UP!" She closed the door, and I think I heard her cry a little, which made me feel awful.

Am I a horrible person? I just don't feel like being perfect and patient lately. Nobody makes that effort for me, so why should I do that for them? So I'm saving that mental energy for being good to myself. Yet I still feel horrible. What a mess.

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